palm oil

Bribing is part of Polish culture. It is the way things are ‘done’. Statistically, as far as Europe is concerned, Finland is the least corrupted country followed closely by Germany. Poland is nearly at the bottom of the list because no one can beat Russia. Today on the morning radio people called in with the best-greasing-of-the-palm tales...

At the city council...

Customer: gee your table is a bit wobbly. Let me level it up for you (slips a 100 zloty bill under one of the table legs).

Civil servant: Now you’ve really made it unbalanced. Please fix the other side.

Customer slips in another 100 zloty bill under the other table leg.

At the public hospital...

Surgeon storms into nurses’ tea room slamming a box of chocolates on the table

Surgeon: (yelling) what the frigg?! She expects me to do the operation for her for a shitty box of freakin’ chocolates?!!!!!!! Where does she think she is?!

The nurses open the box of chocolates and reveal a wad of notes amounting to 10 000 zloty (about AUD$4 500).

At the land registry office...

Customer to civil servant: I bet you 1000 zloty you will not be able to register that straight away!

The poor university student has it the toughest of all. Passing exams depends largely on ‘who’s your daddy’ and whether your taste in whisky selection is the same as your law professor’s. I am exaggerating. But only a tad. The story that churned my gut the most was the tale of Michal’s good mate. He threw in his political science PhD grant after working on it for more than a year as he could no longer stand the bribing demands of his academic supervisor. The clincher came when the aspiring scholar was told his doctorate was on the line...that is unless the supervisor’s apartment was re-carpeted by the end of the week.