flying rats

I hate pigeons. With a passion. I used to dislike them in Sydney. But now I have moved into a new category of absolute despise. These flying rats circulating round town are a hideous excuse for a bird. They are everywhere with their toxic crap eating away at the heritage listed buildings. They stink and are freaking ugly. Especially the big fat ones feasting on the pretzel crumbs scattered all over the footpaths by tourists who mistake the flying rats for a tourist attraction.

The first place we lived in was a flying rat nightmare. Michal, equipped with a metal spatula would religiously remove their poisonous shit from the window panes and the balcony. No matter how many attempts were made at stopping the flying rats from landing on our balcony (metal wire spikes were wound into position on the railing to scare the suckers off) they always managed to land helicopter style and perch their crap on our wooden balcony seat. Bleh. When we finally did move, the mother rat laid an egg in our flower pot. M&J 0 : Flying Rat 1.

I read recently that the French-Algerian artist Kader Attia made an instillation at the Lyons Biennial in 2005 that went to auction at Christie’s this month in New York. The work consisted of a massive cage. Inside it were sculptures of children made out of birdseed. The cage was then filled with pigeons that would attack the birdseed sculptures, giving the whole thing an eerie effect. Wanker. There are kids in Krakow having their eyes removed on a regular basis.

photo by Blaise Adilon

after the flying rats demolished her pretzel they moved in for her retinas