crushed

You know you have been away for too long when you realise you have no idea who your best mates’ new mates are. I was talking to Tabitha today over Skype, catching up on this and that. We got to a point in the conversation when I had to stop her and exclaim “geez Tabitha, I have no bloody idea who the hell you are talking about. All these new people. I know no one!” Tabitha replied “Yup. You are officially out of the loop dude. When I’m being asked how I know Libby and Hugh for example, I often start the explanation with there once was this girl named Justyna…”. I groaned “oh crap, my footprints are fading!” At this point Skype cut out and I really did disappear. How sad.

Also I tried to return my cross-eyed specs yesterday. I went to the optometrist and told the lady I made a really big mistake and could I just return the frames minus the lenses cost because they make me look so awful. She said no. "Next time don't make such hasty decisions. All I can suggest is you give them away" she advised. Return policies always thrill me in Poland. Pity I don't have any friends with really wide heads.

And another thing. I finally managed to stack it on my bike. After a good 12 months of dodging traffic, horse buggies, trash-metal-and-shit guys, dicky tourists and hideous pigeons, I crashed in a very pathetic way. It was all my fault. I convinced myself I could tackle the river terrain around Tyniec with my Ukrainian, 30-year old, rickety gear less wonder pretending it was a mountain bike. It's not. My back wheel slid in the dirt on a steep ascend by the river bank and I failed to lift it out in time. The bike toppled to the side in slow-mo, lazily tossing my sad arse to its knees, head bowed in the dirt. Tragic. "You ok?" Michal came rushing over. "Yes" I bluntly responded and with determination got back on and peddled away. Now something came loose in the bike's frame and it squeaks more than ever.