We went to a wedding this weekend (Michal’s good friend from high school). It could have turned into the ultimate wedding from hell. Firstly, the young couple found out only a day before the ceremony that the church they were getting married in was being renovated. On the inside! The vows were made amongst some gruesome scaffolding. The guests were forced to sit and squint at the couple from a distance. Secondly, upon sitting down to the main meal, the bride’s grandfather who looked close to being 90, started to choke on a piece of meat. People started to scream thinking he was having a heart attack, whilst he went purple and slowly started to lose consciousness, eyes rolling back. The bride initially looked on with horror and then ran out of the building bawling. We all thought pops was going to cark it right there and then, but some burley uncle pulled out the Heimlich and the pesty bit of meat popped out. Pops got his colour back. The ambulance came, the band began to play and the guests started to dance. After some tests were run at the hospital, turned out pops was ok and no bones were broken. And how did we know this? Because pops made a speedy return to the wedding! And enjoyed himself (although slightly hazed) until about 1 in the morning. Why are old Slavs so goddamn crazy?