It was the first official day of spring on Thursday. Except it wasn’t. It snowed. And rained. And froze off all your limbs. But it did explain to me the mystery of the crooked toes that has been haunting me for years. My grandma used to have toes that overlapped one another in a fashion not dissimilar to this sketch I drew on the bus:
I always figured the nannas of Poland displayed similar grotesque deformities due to the Commy one-size-fits all shoe era. Not so my friends. It is because toes crawl underneath one another for warmth! As I walked in the slush with my freezing feet I became aware of my small toe on each foot navigating its crawling journey under the remaining four. They too crave warmth and crawl under one another to survive the harsh months of winter. Or spring. And give you a permanent cramp in the process. The end result will be that when I am 70 I will have very narrow feet and a further tactic for scaring my grandchildren.