Tuesday, 15 May 2007

wogus part II

Equipped with street arse whippin’ know-how (see earlier palm oil entry) I headed off confidently to the city council on Friday, my bag filled to the brim with vodka bottles and boxes of chocolates to register Wogus. I lie. Corruption is wrong and the stickers on all the office doors at the council prove it. An outstretched palm crossed out by a red line with the caption “I take no bribes I give no bribes” is enough of an imposing image to make you quake in your boots at the efforts the government is taking to counteract under the table dealings. Instead I took some light reading to keep me entertained in the 1 hour queue I knew I would be facing. The queue indeed was tremendous, the weather outside a heat wave, the interior corridors of the council building a furnace with its walls yelping for a lick of air-conditioning bliss. The result of my registration procedure you ask? A big fat surprise!! The civil servant, who, uh, served me, was the nicest bureaucrat I have ever met! He spent close to an hour with me explaining the procedure, what else I needed to do, gave me advice on how to formally expand the business activities I selected, chatted to be about the current Constitutional Tribunal ruling regarding the government’s official intrusive inspection process of all hypothetical Commies still raging loose, gave me a folder for all my papers, photocopied all the documents for me FREE OF CHARGE and gave me a computer programme to assist me in my business set up. I love the Krakow Municipal Council! I filled out a survey overflowing with positive remarks and had to refrain myself from drawing love hearts next to the ‘staff opinion’ section asking about the efficiency of the ‘administrating officer’. Yay! Now all that is left is a visit to:

  • The Bureau of Statistics
  • The Taxation Office
  • The Social Security Office

…and Wogus will be fully up and running! And as a side track – suck shit to all my fellow Slav locals out there whining about public officials. I scored. I got a good one!


Nosey in Newtown said...

Wogus is now set for world domination! Is the folder in the picture the one that the official gave you? If so, I'll be doubly impressed, as it has a ribbon. I'd also love to know what advice he gave you about expanding your transport business. Wogbus maybe?

Your nice public servant reminds me of getting my carte de sejour in Paris. I queued up for three hours watching the officials literally reducing people to tears over and over again, so I was quaking in my boots, particularly as I had a fraudulent electricity bill (long story).

Anyway, I was called to the counter of the scariest woman of the whole bunch, so I practically burst into tears instantly. But then she looked at my Australian passport, and said "Water Rats!" with a big beaming smile on her face, stamped my documents while chatting on about Gary Sweet, and then gave me an extra six-month extension for no reason other than my affiliation with Water Rats.

Justyna said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Justyna said...

Ah the power of the public servant - rules, regulations and furrowed brows are out the door the moment a celebrity affiliated by passport client waltzes in!

As for business expansion advice: transporting goods as well as people (Wogcart) and organising cultural and recreational events (Wogfun).

And yes Tabs, the folder with the picture was from the official, complete with ribbon!

beth said...

Today I had another similar moment of loving a public official person - I had forgotten to renew my travel pass and had gotten to Kings Cross without a valid ticket (Summer Hill doesn't have ticket collection machines so I wasn't aware of it until the other end of my journey).

I walked over to the City Rail guy and told him my story and he said in his thick Indian accent that I had "absolutely nothing to worry about at all" but that if there were ticket inspectors then that would have been another story.

I thanked him very much and told him I'd go and buy a ticket straight away, to which he insisted that I waited until 3pm to get a ticket - that way I would get an extra day of valid travel pass-ness!!

What a lovely guy!!

Also, thanks for using the words "suck shit" Justyna - I haven't heard that in yonks and it's a classic! You should work those words into Wogus's mission statement somehow!

Karen said...

No love for the very HK staff at the Australian Consulate here. The office is only open between 10 and 12, so I called at 10 to enquire about Finn's citizenship certificate. Oh, how foolish! The enquiries are not open, because the citizenship staff are manning the booths at that time. The enquiry line is only open between 2 and 4. My suggestion that one person man the phones while the others sit at the booth was met with a typical cantonese "Mm."