Tuesday, 18 December 2007

one wooden pencil holder and a grass rabbit please

Can’t get my arse into gear these couple of days and write proper posts. Maybe that’s because our little digital camera collapsed and I can’t be bothered lugging the SLR around with me every time I step outside. Or maybe because it has been freezing cold and stepping outside in itself is a bother. Although I do like my beanie. Or beanies. I have a whole collection.

Fave headwear, courtesy of Nat.

Christmas is next week and Krakow is lit with fairy lights. I won’t show you the pictures because I do not have any. There is a Christmas market out in the Square as well and it drives me bonkers, mainly because it is very shit. What’s with the Square’s necessity to constantly exhibit wooden folk crap to sell on every occasion possible? What about introducing genuine arty/graphic style stalls or handmade items that are not mass produced in a wooden mountain shack in the Tatras by a horde of arthritis-ridden goat herders? It’s all very quaint when you fly here for the weekend and you want a whiff of the cows, but when you’re dealing with this kitschy hey-Poland-is-so-villagie-vibe all year round, it gets on your nerves. Krakow, despite its large quantities of sheeps' cheese, is not an agricultural heritage park. Can we start showing its urban side, which, unbeknownst to most, is actually pretty bloody good. There are people out there who are producing great photography, design work, prints and crafty art, but who have not been business-mindedly kicked in the pants. Do you know which annual festival gets the largest amount of cash from the City Council? The Pierogi Festival (dumpling). No comment. Tourists please stop buying wooden crap. Locals start selling good shit that I can buy and give to my friends and family with my head held high.

The plus side of it all is, is that the Russians have arrived!!! They are swarming in through the streets of Krakow in alarming numbers and I love it. I think Russian is the greatest language on earth, and the Ruskies one of the more interesting societies, so I take great pleasure in following them around and eavesdropping on their conversations (just for the pure sound of their language, since I can only understand an eighth of what they are saying), being amazed at all the glitz, pink and trash they like to wear.

They are coming in large numbers to get their shopping done before the Schengen Agreement kicks in on the 21st of December. This means that Poland will no longer have border control with any of its neighbouring EU countries (Germany, Czech Republic, Slovakia, Lithuania) and no check points (you will be able to drive from country to country like in Western Europe without even having to put the brakes on or flashing your passport). But what it does mean for the Russians, the Ukrainians and the Byelorussians is tighter border control, EU implemented border regulations, harder to get visas and tighter security. So no more popping in for shopping or skiing weekends in Zakopane. The highlanders are already wincing in pain. They will lose a whole heap of dosh over the Christmas break due to the lack of the very generous rich Ruskies who usually come in massive amounts and spend big. Decline in the hotel and hospitality sector will mean an increase in wooden shit production.

Our home does not look at all Christmasie, but it smells it. Michal decided to bake ‘paszteciki’ on Sunday, and poor Tukan just happened to arrive at the wrong moment and was forced to help. The filling is wild mushrooms stewed with sauerkraut (what else). The pastry is some sort of yeast variety. Very fluffy but filling. You eat them with a hot cup of borsch (which Michal also cooked and added a bit too much chilli). Good effort from Bake Boy.

I stole the table for craftiness.
Michal was forced to fight the slanted walls of the kicthen.

Marcin proved a very good pastry technician.

I like the turd looking one on the far left.


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tee hee, turd-looking one.

I share your miffedness about the wooden-looking crap, in an indirect way. Whenever my father-in-law visits us (and this has happened in Hong Kong, Shanghai and Singapore), and we go somewhere cool and interesting (cafe, restaurant or shop), he says "we could be anywhere in the world couldn't we", which is a complaint. Australia is allowed to be modern and cool, but all of Asia should be one quaint tiled pagoda (in which all goods are cheap). The citizens must not progress beyond western rustic fantasies or attempt to respond to genuine cultural influences of the day.

And he thinks this makes him a more intrepid traveller.

edd said...

pierogi festival!!!! why have i not been informed earlier!!!

Michal said...

I am thinking of organizing a kebeb festival because pierogi though well paid must feel lonely on the event list...

Michael Wong Thye Seng said...

"Decline in the hotel and hospitality sector will mean an increase in wooden shit production."

Love it.

Michael Wong Thye Seng said...

Michal, just saw your comment. We must organise such a kebab festival.

We'll set up a stall, make the finest kebabs, and sit in deck chairs nursing our pipes.

When a customer asks for a kebab, you will take the pipe out of your mouth, point it at the customer, and ask in a professorial manner, 'But are you WORTHY of our kebabs?'

'Of course I am, you cheeky fucking bastard!' the customer will reply.

You will look at me, knock out your pipe and re-fill it. I will take a puff on my pipe, exhale, and say out of the corner of my mouth, 'Nie.'

Then we will each take a kebab and eat it in front of the kebab-less customer.

[Childish squeals of delight optional.]

Nosey said...

You actually once gave me a wooden pencil holder shaped like an owl. I love it.

rootvegetable said...

I couldn't agree with you more about the crap I've seen at the "Christmas Market". It's embarassing. I don't think you can blame those arthritis-ridden goat herders though as most of it seems to have been imported from China. I guess that's not surprising when a stall costs 20000pln... Please go easy on the pierogi festival though, as it's a good idea stifled by the heavy hand of bureaucracy unlike the soup festival in May which is beautifully bonkers.

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Somehow I have always missed the soup festival. Must make sure I am there for it next May. Don't mind the pierogi festival as such. But it just seems to go hand in hand with all things peasant.

Nosey, didn't I give you a wooden sausage dog pencil holder? Edd got the hedgehog, and Pru got the owl? I also used to wear purple Docs and cut my own hair. People change. But I'm glad I got all that wood in through customs. Because I doubt I will be ever doing that again...

Mike, your kebab festival scenario would be best implemented at 3am - when all the drunken 'dudes' stumble out of pubs/bars and the like. There would be plenty of knee-begging action.

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nope, i got the sausage dog - it adorned my work desk for 3.5 years. i still look at it fondly. has just enough holes to hold red, blue, black pens and a pencil - marvellous! what more could you want out of life?

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