Tuesday 12 June 2007

what not to bring from France

When you purchase and open aged camembert cheese, a fat fart escapes. If you, like me, experience this for the first time, you blame the fart on someone standing close by. When the fart continues to reek for 15 minutes you begin to wander what in the hell the person standing close by was eating all week. Then you get uneasy. Then a Frenchie explains that it is in fact the aged camembert. You giggle and turn red for being a moronic pleb. Uncertainly you take a bite of it and it is heaven. Then you make the rash decision to purchase loads of it for your friends and family back in Poland. You wrap it up in newspaper, stick it in a plastic bag, tie it, then stick that plastic bag into your dirty laundry satchel, which then is thrown into the depth of your backpack. When you arrive home, the people at the baggage carousel look at you with scorn and probably label you as an uncouth swamp monger. Just deserts, because at this stage your backpack and therefore you stink like shit. At home you quickly throw all the clothes from the laundry satchel (minus the cheese) into the washing machine and pray for a miracle. It doesn’t come. When the clothes are washed they continue to stink of cheese poo.


Perpetrators of Stench

5 comments:

Michael Wong Thye Seng said...

Edd, she smells so bad . . .

Tabitha said...

i bet you won't be able to eat that cheese and enjoy it now.

i once left a bowl which had contained a salad with gorgonzola in it unwashed in the sink overnight. The house stunk of vomity poo for days. i no longer like blue cheese.

Malunini said...
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Malunini said...
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Anonymous said...

i argee with rodrigo and watever he's selling... tho must comment once again my stomach is cramped from all the gym work.. i mean laughing uve induced... ill be seeing u soon i hope